LOVE HURTS...

So I was debating whether to even post about this because who wants to show the utterly beastly side of their own child, but in the interest of transparency, I figured what the hell. You, my loyal readers, won't judge me or my abilities as a parent (even though I definitely questioned myself this morning!). Here's what transpired:

We were getting ready for Caroline's Ballet Tea Party class at Kidville. Yes, they wear tutus, and yes, Caroline likes going, but it's really the cookies and juice at the end of class that pursuades her to put on her little black leotard and tights each week. But I digress. I was getting myself dressed in my bedroom. I turned to see Caroline taking advantage of the fleeting freedom of having the gate of the top of the steps temporarily open by trying to drag/ride her ladybug Wheely-bug down the stairs. Um, what?! Of course, I went right over to her and told her that Wheely-bugs aren't for stairs, and tried to take said bug away from her. And do you know what she did in response? The little bugger bit my left index finger! She hasrecently taken to occasionally biting walls, furniture, and her stuffed animals out of frustration, but never an actual human person - that's been too taboo, and she is far more demure around her little friends to ever try it on them. Apparently, she feels comfortable enough with me to conduct her little experiment on me. Grrr. As I told my mother later, we've crossed a threshold.

Not that I'm too concerned about her with her friends and classmates - just the other day I got to see a great example of how she tries to handle conflict with other kids when a little girl at the park tried to take away her Dora balloon. I was actually proud of her then - she used her words and wasn't at all physical. Oh, the joys of being the one she's closest to...

So, back at the homestead: of course, Caroline landed her little self in a rare (for her) time out, which "the experts" suggest should not extend past the child's age in terms of the number of minutes they are in there. But here's where the dilemma/guilt sets in: I just don't think that's effective enough for my kid. She's two, and spends well beyond two minutes screaming and snotting all over the place before beginning to calm down enough to reason with.

My feeling is this: until she is at the point where she's able to at least think about what I'm saying, she's not ready to be out of time out. This time, it lasted about 15 minutes. After the first 10 minutes (which seemed like an eternity), I went in because she sounded a bit calmer and I reminded her sternly, "No biting!" and explained to her that when you hurt someone, you say "I'm sorry" and give them a hug. She responded by playing around and laughing, which landed her back in time out (cue the screaming and snot). At this point, there was no salvaging getting out the door for ballet, which also had me silently cursing - now I had to fill another hour + of our day!

After another 5 minutes, I went back in, and apparently she got the point this time, and immediately said "Hug!" and said "I'm sorry, Mommy" (with a little prompting by me). A quick reminder of "No biting! Biting hurts!" and then we were on with our day, relatively unscathed and with a little life lesson thrown in for fun. When we walked past her Wheely-bug on the way to the elevator to go downstairs to the kitchen, my smart girl showed me she knew how to play my game - she rode the bug into my bedroom this time, instead of to the top of the stairs like the budding Evel Knievel she is. Score one for Mommy!