BACK TO THE GRIND...

I can't believe that we are are now into our second year of school! While I don't think any of us are particularly happy about having to get ourselves up and out so early in the morning (I am already counting the minutes until next Summer), there's something that's just simply adorable about seeing how excited Caroline was for her first day as a Three-Day Three...

A BIRTHDAY WISH FOR CAROLINE...

Dear Caroline Grace,

Well here we are, the night before you turn three. Daddy and I can't believe how time has flown and you've somehow managed to be another year older. It seems like just yesterday that you were still in my tummy, wiggling constantly and keeping me awake at night. Thankfully, you sleep really well these days (now it's your baby sister Molly who's keeping me up!), but just like when I was pregnant with you, you are in constant motion and full of energy. I thought that it might be a neat thing to write you a letter every year for your birthday so that when you grow up you will have a history of who you were when you were young. I also wanted to let you know the way your Mommy sees you and what I love about you as you grow.

These days, you are a girl who loves horses, princesses, and butterflies. Pink and purple are your favorite colors. You usually insist on wearing a dress (and it's usually one of your three Lilly dresses), but never worry about getting it dirty. You can frequently be found running, dancing, singing, and playing pretend. Your favorite foods are cheese, peanut butter and jelly (cut into triangles and served "butterfly-style"), spaghetti (but only if you can slurp up the noodles), berries, and all things sweet. You talk up a storm and have an inclination to negotiate when you want to get your way. You are kind to your baby sister, especially since she now seems to actually notice you, and she just adores you in return. Whenever you are in the room, her eyes are fixed on you, following you and watching whatever fun or mischief you are getting yourself into.

I love your sunny disposition. You are happy most of the time (although when you get frustrated or mad, you do have a bit of a temper - just like your Mommy!). You are a giggly, smiley, silly girl. You are also incredibly independent and a bit stubborn - you always like to try to do things for yourself first before asking for or accepting help (again, just like your Mom!). You seem especially proud of yourself these days whenever you go to the potty all by yourself or get yourself dressed. It doesn't matter that the shoes are sometimes on the wrong feet or that the bow goes in the front of your pants and not the back - when you do it without help, you just beam! Daddy and I just love watching you learn to do new things, and even though it sometimes takes twice as long when you do something for yourself, we are so happy that our Caroline is becoming such a strong, smart little girl.

One day recently, you saw me a bit teary-eyed because I was having a bad day. It was one of those days where nothing seemed to be going right. All by yourself (without any prompting from Daddy), you came up to me and gave me a big hug and said, "It's okay Mommy. Just calm down, and take a deep breath." In that one gesture, you erased all the bad parts of my day and turned everything around. You did what even Daddy couldn't do. It was one of my proudest moments as your Mommy so far, and it once again made me so grateful to have you in my life.

Three years ago, on the day you were born, you gave me the best present I could ask for - you made me a Mommy! Tomorrow, you will blow four candles out on your cake - three for your birthday, plus one to grow on. When you do, my wish for you will be that you have another wonderful year full of new adventures, fun with your family and friends, and that you stay the happy, healthy little girl who Daddy and I are honored to call our daughter.

Happy, happy birthday, Caroline! I love you more than you will ever know...

Mommy

SUMMER LOVIN'...

Once again, I find myself apologizing to the blog world for being so absentee! I have no idea how some of my other blog friends do it with two (or more) kids, but I simply can't seem to get my act together enough to write on a daily (or even weekly) basis lately! However, it is officially Summer in our house as Caroline is out of school (although is in camp at her school every morning for two weeks), I am happy to report that Miss Molly is FINALLY pretty consistently sleeping through the night (I mean, am I a drama queen or what? I have friends whose kids didn't do that for a year or more...but I digress), and I am beginning to regain a bit of my sanity.

Summer is my favorite season. I mean, I wish it were a bit cooler, and certainly less humid (hello, DC is about as bad as Miami at this time of year- that's what you get when you build a city on top of a swamp...), but I have ALWAYS gotten excited at its arrival. When I was a kid, Summer meant that school was out and we were heading to our house on the Chesapeake Bay for the next three months. We spent our days playing on the beach, going crabbing on the jetties or pulling them from the pots we had put out, taking out the row boats or kayaks, and hunting endlessly for the shark's teeth that lined the shore. Our nights were full of flashlight tag, bonfires, catching fireflies, and going to Buehler's for ice cream. Our beach house is in a very small community, so we were basically turned loose - able to travel from a young age wherever our feet or our bicycles could take us.

We had my parents' house, where I always had a sister to play with, or my grandparents' house down the street, where there were always cousins, aunts, or uncles around. We had lots of Summer friends who had houses down there too (some of whom even lived near or went to school with us during the rest of the year). It was as idyllic as it sounds, if not occasionally boring (but in a good way). I still can't believe that I got to spend my childhood in such a fabulous manner.

The harbor down the street from our house

My mom and me (around age 1) on the beach

A "photo op" with some of my cousins, uncles, and my aunt (I'm in the second row from the top on the left)

Picking crabs at a table behind my grandparents' (I'm the one holding stuff up in the back left)

When I grew up, there was a time when I needed a break from the slow pace of the Bay. Steve and I spent six Summers in a group house in Dewey Beach, DE with one of my sisters, some of our cousins, and alot of our friends. A far cry from the quiet of the Chesapeake, Dewey was an exercise in debauchery and craziness. We spent almost every Friday night each Summer making the drive down Rt. 50 to 404 to 16 to 1, just to make it to The Starboard , which was a mere two blocks from our house, in time for Last Call. We would find a parking spot on our street and that was where the car would stay until Sunday.

A Dewey Night - before and after (that's Steve in the far right corner, and yes, that's me on the right with a box on my head...um, what?!)

My sister Maridith and me, plus a group shot from Jam Session at the Bottle and Cork

Dancing one night, and brunch with Eggs Del Marva and Red Shots the next morning, both at our home away from home - The Starboard

The best bartender in the world - Lincoln!

The rest of the weekend was spent running from bar to beach to bar (well actually, sometimes it was bar to bar to bar) before finally crashing in a twin bed (yes, the two of us in ONE bed) in a room at our house that we named The Naughty Monkey. It sounds absolutely crazy - which it was - but I have to say that those six summers were some of the best in my life so far. We made some of our closest friends there, and watched multiple couples fall in love and get married after living in our beach house (Steve and I were even married during this six-year span!). And who says Dewey romances can never last?! Alas, after six years, we decided it was time for us to settle down just a bit, and pulled the cord on our time in Dewey.

And so here we are, with two little girls, finding ourselves back at the Bay once again. I'm not going to say it's as easy to be there as I remember it as a kid - my parents' house is a lot more crowded now that we are all grown up and have so many extra people in tow. It's also not the most wheelchair-accessible place in the world for me to be, although my friends and family take great efforts to make it so. The community built a fabulous ramp onto the beach for me (and others) several years ago, and have rebuilt it after Nor'easters or hurricanes have tried to take it down. I even found this awesome beach chair that swivels 360-degrees so that I can get sun at any angle, or watch the girls play in the water.

Taking my own children down to the Bay makes me appreciate how much effort my Mom and Dad put into making my own childhood Summers seems so, well, effortless. Despite all the work it takes to get us there, seeing my daughters enjoy the simplicity that comes with the slower pace of life down there makes it all worthwhile. Steve and I even hope to buy our own small cottage down there in the next several years. A girl can dream, right?

Caroline, loving the water and walking my parents' dog, Oscar

Snuggling with Miss Molly on the beach

Caroline trying out our kayak while Molly Rose chills out under the umbrella

A little beer pong on the front porch with my cousin Mikey, sister Suzy, and Steve - see, we haven't grown up entirely just yet (and probably never will)!

"ALL THEIR EYES ON ME, IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A...

...CIRCUS!" When we told Caroline that we had a surprise trip planned for her today and gave her some hints as to where we were headed, we thought mentioning that she would see animals and clowns would give it away. Instead, it took me singing the chorus from Britney Spears' "Circus" to give it away. I sang all the words up until "circus" and she finished my sentence before getting very excited that she was heading into the city to see The Greatest Show on Earth with her Daddy and me this morning! Kind of hilarious, although I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that my two-year-old knows any of the words to a Britney Spears song...

Alas, we had a great day - just the three of us (well, and Steve's best friend Marc, who got us the tickets through his company!) for the first time since Molly was born. Although it's only been a month, it seemed so strange for us to be out without her, but I could tell by the look on Caroline's face from the moment we got into the car that spending a little one-on-one time with her is going to be a really good thing from time to time. She's been such a trooper over the past two months, between the loss of her grandmother and the birth of her baby sister, and so it was really nice to get out and do something really special with just her.

Despite the fact that Uncle Marc plied her with every sugary concoction imaginable and then told her that Daddy would buy her whatever she wanted in the way of stuffed animals, light wands, and hats, she was a really good girl and had such a fun time. I can't wait for us to have our next adventure together - she's getting to be such a big girl!

in Daddy's car, on the way into the city

sitting with Uncle Marc, waiting for the show to start

watching the tigers and eating cotton candy

The elephants were a favorite (she was trying to figure out which one was "Elmer")

All smiles after a fun day!

OUR LITTLE SNUGGLE BUG...

Life around our house is adjusting to a "new" normal these days. Molly's been a really good baby so far, aside from a couple nights this week when we were dealing with her very first cold - one of the perks of having a toddler in pre-school who just loves to climb all over her baby sister at every chance she gets! I must say, I think God was looking out for me when we decided to have our second - Caroline is so busy that it would have been really challenging for me to keep up with her AND recover from a c-section AND care for a tricky newborn. I know from experience that all this might change on a dime, so I shouldn't get too used to it, but for now, I'm feeling pretty lucky.

It's amazing to me how two kids who have come from the same place can be so inherently different from the get-go. Caroline was always a squirmy, fidgety, alert baby - hence the on-the-go, curious, energetic toddler we have living with us today. Molly, on the other hand, is a snuggly baby who currently has two favorites - eating and sleeping. If only life could stay that easy... Either way, I love both of them equally and am trying to embrace what makes each of them so different. Hopefully, I'll pass that understanding along to them too!

...AND INTRODUCING:

Molly Rose Feldman, born on February 18, 2009. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 2 ounces and measured 20 inches. Miss Molly's middle name, Rose, begins with an "R" in memory of her Grammy, Roberta "Bobbi" Feldman.

My delivery went smoothly and aside from a bit of jaundice, Molly has done great so far. We are all settling in and getting used to life as a foursome. Caroline is adjusting well, although she had a cold and ear infection that initially kept her away from the baby. Things are calming down a bit more every day. I hope you enjoy taking a look at our first two weeks...

**REMEMBER TO DISABLE THE MUSIC PLAYER TO THE LEFT OF THE SCREEN PRIOR TO VIEWING THE VIDEO!!!**

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

REMEMBERING...

I've been away from The Pink Totebag for the past month while our family has endured a few changes - some to be welcomed and celebrated, while others have been exponentially more somber. First of all, I want to thank some of my blog friends - Mom x 2 and Cancer Sucks, in particular - for writing in to check up on us. Yes, we have added a new daughter, Molly, to our family, whose arrival I will share in my next post. We also welcomed the birth of our second nephew, Eli, on February 5th, just two weeks before our little girl was born. Tragically, however, his arrival coincided with the sudden passing of my mother-in-law, Bobbi, while she was away on vacation in Puerto Rico with my father-in-law, Barry, and her cousins. She suffered from a massive aneurism the evening of Eli's birth, and was taken off of life support two days later.

Needless to say, this time for us has been incredibly bittersweet. While the family is thrilled with the new additions of Molly and Eli, we are all heartbroken that we are now without Bobbi. She was so happy to hear that Eli had been born and spent a good part of that day looking at pictures that my brother-in-law had emailed to her. Although she never met Molly, we know that she was just as excited to welcome her into the world.

I don't want to pretend that I can dignify Bobbi's passing with a short little blub on this blog. Words can't describe how her loss has impacted everyone in our family - her three children and husband, in particular. Her absence is palpable, and although we have all pulled together to help each other through this, it's a void that will never be filled.


Bobbi left me two treasures in my life. The first is the gift of my husband. She and Barry raised him to become a person who I couldn't imagine my own life without - a wonderful husband, father, and best friend. The second gift is the love she has shown to our children. Bobbi doted on our daughter Caroline and made her feel as though she was the most special little girl in the world. She spoiled her with gifts - as grandmothers so often do, but more importantly, she spoiled her with her time and attention. We are trying every day to help Caroline remember her Grammy. While she and Molly never met, Bobbi made clear her excitement at her impending arrival. I like to think that maybe they met in passing as Bobbi made her way up to Heaven and Molly made her way down here to us on Earth...


And so, I dedicate this post to my mother-in-law Bobbi. She will be missed by all of us. I hope that she is somewhere, looking over us and smiling, especially as she watches her grandchildren grow...

Bobbi, Barry, and Caroline on the day she was born

Bobbi and Caroline at her first birthday party

Bobbi and Caroline at Passover last Spring

GOOD GEAR...

We've been really lucky to come across different gear over the past couple of years that have made raising a baby while in a wheelchair so much easier (well actually, it's stuff that I think any mom could use!). We have even purchased a few new things that I think are going to be even better than some of the solutions we came up with the first time around. Here are some of our favorites (hope they help you, too!)...

We invested in the Bugaboo Chameleon as our big stroller. It was rediculously expensive, but for our situation, worth every penny. With the carseat adaptor, I was able to easily get Caroline into and out of the car from my chair from the get-go. The telescoping handle was a godsend so that I wasn't bumping my face into the stroller as I wheeled my chair. It's easy to take apart and fold (you have to take the seat off to collapse it, which some people hate, but from a wheelchair perspective, it makes it less cumbersome), and is really versatile. The only other stroller I would consider if I were to purchase something new for this baby(which we're not) is the Peg Perego Skate, which has alot of the same features, with the addition of a really cool tilting handlebar that would make it even easier for me to push than the Bugaboo.

You've seen me post about this one before - we bought the Quinny Zapp as our lightweight stroller after Caroline got bigger. It's so easy for me to fold and lift into the car, and is very easy for me to push from my wheelchair. The only drawback is that you can't really hang much onto the handlebars (although there's a decent-sized storage basket underneath).

The Fisher Price Space Saver high chair was a great find for us. Not only does it not take up alot of room in our dining room or kitchen, but I also found it so much easier to pull up to in my chair when trying to put Caroline into and out of it. We looked at the Peg Perego Prima Pappa (as well as others that had adjustable heights), but this one just seemed to suit our needs just a bit better.

The Skip Hop diaper bags were quite the find, too. We first had - and eventually outgrew - the Duo. We upgraded to the Via Messenger, which is great because it is a bit roomier and has the flap that contains everything. I love this bag because it hangs so easily onto the back of my chair, and kind of blends in because it's black. Steve likes it too because it doesn't look too girlie.

I saw someone in Ben and Jerry's one night when I was pregnant with Caroline, and she had the Peanut Shell sling. She raved about it, and it was for good reason. It is so easy to pull on and off (not buckles to adjust or attach), so it's easy for everyone to use - even people who may have limited mobility in their hands. Although I mainly used my Baby Bjorn when we were out and about, this was a great way for me to easily have my hands free when we were in the house (which is especially important when you have to wheel a chair). Just throw it on and go!

This is a new purchase for baby #2 - the silver and black M1 Carrier from Lascal. I decided to find another option for my Baby Bjorn Original, which I liked but had a few complaints about. The M1 has much better back support than the BB, which is really important for all moms but for wheelers in particular because back and shoulder strain are some of the main causes of additional disability with in this community. Additionally, the weight limit for the M1 is several pounds higher, which means that baby #2 can use it for a bit longer, making it easier for her to stay on my lap when we are out and about. I'm excited to see if this was worth the money - I'll keep you posted!

At our house these days, you will find several of these Kiddie Guard retractable gates from Regal + Lager. They were more expensive than the standard pressure or swing-out gates, but so much easier for me to manage from my chair. They fit wide doorways and are simple to operate once you get used to them. They are also really unobtrusive, which means that we didn't have to sacrifice precious doorway width (with a chair, every inch counts!).

Caroline loved this Papasan Cradle Swing from Fisher Price, and so did I - for several reasons. The main feature that made my life easier is that the seat swivels, which means that I was able to turn it to face sideways and pull the seat onto my lap to put her into and get her out of it. My balance isn't great, so this was crucial for me. She just loved it because it was so snuggly!

When I had Caroline, I told my mom that I needed to invent a way for me to easily pick her up off the floor after tummy time, etc., and thought that maybe I could adapt a small duffle bag to scoop her up. Turns out the people at Lillebaby did just that, with the Eurotote. This contraption apparently has many functions (travel bed, alternative carrier, etc.), but for me, the main use would be to hoist the baby up from the floor without having to put her in her car seat, climb into my chair, pick up the car seat, take her out, blah blah blah (which is how I had to do it with Caroline).

I have had a link to this on my blog for awhile now. It's a car seat carrying strap from Flying Falcon. While I have a really hard time believing that my walking friends would really like this thing (I have visions of strained necks and sore hips), for someone in a chair, it's the best thing ever. I am easily able to keep the infant seat on my lap with no issues because of this strap. It's so nice to be able to have my hands free to wheel, open doors, etc.

So that's that for now - I promise to pass along any new finds as I come across them. Hopefully, if you or someone you know is in a chair, you'll especially benefit from this post. For those of you who might not be in a chair but are having a baby, maybe these products will be a good fit for you, too!